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Jaina Solo
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Chapter 11

Note: The song belongs to Evanescene and is called "Fields of Innocence". I don't own it.

The sun was slowly rising over the sky scrapers on Coruscant; warm, orange light streaming over the city and being reflected several times from the high buildings.
Jaina stood on the balcony of her family’s apartment, letting the morning sun warm her. She drifted with closed eyes in the force, embracing the moment; fingers playing with the lightsaber that was attached to her belt and soft wind playing with her brown robe.

It was a moments of peace she had so less of as a warrior, always in the first row. She enjoyed just staying there; in battle it would have been deadly, but here she allowed herself a rest.

She reflected how much her life had changed.
The Vong were invading, she had fallen in love and had failed in telling him.
Jaina sighed. Despite how good she was as a pilot, she still was a loser when it came to telling her feelings.
Stop! Shut up! You’re thinking of him again!

Her inner peace was over now. She had tried the whole week, ever since they had come back from the Ralroost, to tell Kyp, to at least ask him for a date.

But she had failed.
She just wasn’t strong enough.

Yesterday she had decided to leave him in peace, to simply forget him and her feelings, but even when she didn’t want to, she thought about him.

Her eyes snapped open and she smiled bitterly.

If I had told him and he’d turned me down, I would at least have stopped making me illusions and interpreting in every smile of him that he might love me.
But now it was too late, she didn’t have the inner strength anymore.

Yet it has done me good. She thought. I now see things more clearly, it’s like someone had lifted a veil from my face.

She exhaled and let go of her bitterness, now only focusing on the good things.

I’ve never noticed before how beautiful the sunrise is and how warm the sunshine can be.
I never had interest in such details, thought they’d never be important.
I’ve missed so much.

Jaina embraced herself, closed her eyes again and leaned against the wall behind her.
Quietly she hummed a song she had heard long ago, but never really understood.

I still remember the world
From the eyes of a child
Slowly those feelings were
Clouded but what I know now

Where has my heart gone?
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to know the truth
Believing in everything
And knowing nothing at all

I still remember the sun always warm on my back
Somehow it seems colder now
Where has my heart gone?
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything

Where has my heart gone?
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I, I want to know the truth
Believing in everything

Oh well, where has my heart gone?
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger
Oh I, I want to go back to
Believing in everything

I still remember…

Jaina frowned and opened her eyes again, starting to pace on the small balcony.
Sure Kyp has been a stranger for her, only a friend of her father’s and now she knew that not all people where as nice as she thought they were, but the sun seemed to be warmer.

Or not?
She came to an abrupt halt, gaze returning to orange-red ball climbing upwards.
Suddenly she shivered, feeling oddly cold.

She had a week left till she’d return to the Ralroost, but despite what she had told Anni, Jaina was now not very sure she wanted to return.

I can’t let them down now! They need me! Jaina thought, before it occurred her that it was very selfish to think they desperately needed her.
And what good could she do? Letting them all get killed like in her visions?

If I’m not there, I won’t be responsible for their deaths…
No, I would. I still would.

But I don’t want to leave Kyp!
Staying with the Jedi means staying with him.

Jaina pulled her robe closer around her. She knew she had to find an answer, but she didn’t know what to do.

And she wondered if she’d ever know.


Jaina opened and closed her fists again. There was her chance.
The perfect chance.

It was after her self-defense training, two days after she’d decided to forget about Kyp.
And there he was now, helping Mara with putting the mats away and stacking them in one corner of the room they had rented for the training.
Light from the setting sun came through the panorama windows and fell on Kyp’s face, causing his eyes to shimmer mysteriously.

Mara stepped to Tenel Ka, stopping the princess from leaving the room.
“Tenel Ka, can I have a moment of your time, please?” She asked, her expression clearly forced to be calm.
“Of course, Master Jade.”
Both women went into an adjoining room, leaving Jaina alone and facing Kyp’s back.

She bit her lower lip, then threw her towel over her shoulder.

Now or never! She decided and approached him, feeling strangely calm.

Without thinking, she opened her mouth and started to speak.

“Yes?” Kyp answered without turning around.
“Would you like to meet me?”

Kyp stopped with his work and turned around immediately, looking surprised.

“Eh…I have to check when I have time, Jedi-Masters have a lot to do.”
Then his lips parted and he gave her a smile that made her forget everything.

“But otherwise, I have no objections.”

Jaina almost burst with relief, feeling nothing except happiness. She swore, in that moment her heart had gotten wings and stated to fly, carrying her body on huge warmth with it.

Tenel Ka came back with Mara and together they bid farewell to Kyp and Mara.

Just outside the house with the training room in it, Jaina hugged Tenel Ka enthusiastically, almost throwing the surprised young woman off her feet.

“I’ve told him, I’ve told him, I’VE TOLD HIM!” Jaina screamed happily.

Tenel Ka hugged her back, sharing Jaina’s joy.
“I knew you would do it!” She smiled broadly, the biggest smile Jaina had ever seen of her.

“Oh force, Tenel, I’m so happy I feel like dancing!” She said as they made their way through the darkening streets.
“Then, why don’t you do it?” Tenel Ka said simply.

Jaina stared at her with opened mouth.
At first only hopping down the street, she became faster as Tenel Ka joined her and finally the two ran laughing down the streets.

After they had burned their last energy, they went hand in hand.

“Thanks, Tenel Ka.” Jaina said, with all of her heart meaning it.
“See! Now I don’t have to kill you!” Tenel Ka grinned. It seemed that once she’d started, she just couldn’t stop from smiling.
But she didn’t care.

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